A Kuroshitsuji Christmas Carol
by The Cake Genius
Summary: Grell is visited by the Ghosts of Pedos Past, Present, and Future to make him change his ways... Will they succeed? A heart-warming holiday tale to read with small children.


**Disclaimer: Neither I nor Myth own "Kuroshitsuji" or "A Chirstmas Carol," although both are wonderful. I actually don't even own this story (see A/N). Well, I did take the liberty to edit some grammatical errors, but that's about it.**

**A/N: So, this is something my BFF Myth wrote (HI, MYTH!), and since she's too damn lazy to get her own account, asked me to post it for her. I don't own this story (although I wish I did, it's awesome!), but I think my own stories are pretty good, too... So I'm shamelessly (and apparently redundantly) self-promoting myself. If you like Death Note or Harry Potter, I recommend myself to you. *nodnod* I'm also sorry if ff changes the hearts to threes, which I can't really help. Now, on with the crack!**

First off, you must know that Sebastian was hot. VERY hot. Now that you know, I will tell the tale of a Christmas happening. Grell had just been rejected by Sebastian again. Grell was in a foul mood. Foul enough to bend rules. Seeing two passing lovers go down an alley, Grell got a bad idea. He leaped down with his chainsaw and killed them both. Feeling a little better, he killed more. After a while, he headed home to rest.

"One day Bassy and I _will_ be together," he muttered. He went inside and got ready to go to sleep. Then Grell Heard a horrid giggle fill the room.

"Eh?"

The Undertaker appeared from Grell's closet and stepped forward.

"Grell, your chain of pedo has been forged to a great length. If you do not change your ways, you'll never get a life partner."

"Chain?" Grell said, startled.

"Yes, your chain."

"Can I use this to chain Bassy to me? 3"

"..."

The Undertaker started again. "You will be haunted by three spirits so you may learn to change your ways."

"Spirits? 3"

"Good luck. He he..."

"Spirits. Ha! The only spirit I know is one that will make Bassy tipsy. 3"

The clock chimed at midnight.

Grell looked up at the clock. A sudden light filled the room. There in the center of the light was Will.

"Will?"

"I am the Ghost of Pedos Past," the spirit said.

"Pedos? Come on," Grell said.

"Yo have done many wrongs, Grell. Come with me, and I shall show you your past."

Grell was lifted by the jacket collar by Will's "scythe" as he jumped out of the window.

* * *

The scene of a classroom is shown. Grell and Will stand at the back of the room. You can see young Grell and Will siting down.

"What's this?" Grell asked.

"Your past," replied Will.

"What I meant was-"

"SHHH."

You could see as Grell aced Style in shinigami school. Will passed Effectiveness. The scene changed to Will being shown as the boss put Grell in a lower ranking.

"Why do you show me this? To rub it in my face?" Grell said with anger.

"Only to show the past. That is what I do. Here."

The scene changed once more. It showed Grell with a crush. Then another. Then another. Then another.

"Why do you show me these things, Will?"

"I am no Will. I am a spirit."

"Will, why are you so mean? You keep showing me the unchangeable mistakes. Take me home, please."

"Ugh. Fine. But remember what you saw."

* * *

Grell sat up from his chair in his room. The clock was frozen at twelve. Soon a scent of cheap perfume and desserts could be smelled.

"Kawaii!"

Lizzy bounded through the door, almost knocking Grell over.

"Hey-!"

"I'm the Ghost of Pedos Present! Isn't this soo exciting?"

"Very,  
" Grell said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well then, let's go!"

"ACK!"

Lizzy took hold of Grell's hand and leaped out the window. They traveled down to the Phantomhive estate. There was much merrymaking about. Ciel sat there watching out the window at the slowly falling snow. Bard was trying to make pudding with dynamite, Mey-Rin was "dancing" clumsily with Finny, and Sebastian wasn't in sight. By dancing, I mean that Mey-Rin was holding on for dear life as Finny swung her about merrily.

"Isn't this so exciting? There needs to be ore decorations, though..."

"What does this have to do with me?" Grell asked.

"If you weren't a pedo, you could be dancing with Sebastian right now."

"WHAT?"

"Well, maybe..."

"What do you mean, MAYBE?!"

"Well, umm..."

"I'll put you on the Death List, whore!"

"I-"

"I'll kill you!"

"WAIT!"

"That is IT."

"No, no, no!"

* * *

Grell awoke again in his chair.

"Ugh. When I see her..."

The clock struck again.

An eerie light filled the room.

Then an all-to-familiar voice spoke."Grell, you will see your future if you continue this path. Are you ready?" Sebastian emerged from the shadows.

"Are YOU ready, Bassy? 3" Grell purred.

"I am the Ghost of Pedos Yet to Come."

"Oh it's not yet, because I just did. 3"

"... I-I'm not into older men."

"Mmm..." Grell stared at Sebastian.

Sebastian sighed and showed Grell a scene from the future.

Grell was aged and alone. He sat in a corner. His hair was unkempt and he looked dejected.

"What's this?"

"Your future, of course. If you stay a pedo."

"My appearance is shabby! And that just won't do. Take me, Bassy. Take me to my house so I can change."

"Of course."

* * *

Grell awoke in his bed. His sheets were tangled up in a knot. "Good thing I'm back. I DO need to change."

So Grell grabbed some fresh clothes and changed.

"I was getting dirty! Now to find Bassy..."

Suddenly, all three spirits appeared. "Didn't you learn anything?" said Past.

"Of course! I learned that I needed to change."

"I meant your actions!" said Yet to Come.

"Ha! No way! This is way more fun than your boring life! Or death... There's passion, greed, and, of course... DEATH!*"


End file.
